


Lost in you

by LG_Consor



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Depression, F/F, Post-Book 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-21 00:21:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2448455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LG_Consor/pseuds/LG_Consor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Korra has depression and refuses to talk to everyone about it, Asami included. Post-Book3 AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost in you

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd. I've tried my best to fix grammar mistakes and the likes but me if you see any message me and I'll fix it.
> 
> This was originally posted on my tumblr and was only intended to be a text post/analysis/headcanon at first but then, well, let's just say night time does wonder on muses.

Korra constantly finds herself feeling emptied inside.

She can’t use her bending as well as before . Especially firebending, because that element relies on her emotion the most.

She tries to find the flame inside her, summons it, but it just doesn’t come out.

They fight, sometimes, when Asami becomes so frustrated at Korra’s refusal to talk.

But in the evening Asami always comes back, without fail, if only to make sure Korra’s had a proper meal. She intends to make good on her promise.

Korra is grateful, but at the same time, constantly feels undeserving of what she perceives to be kindness.

She sleeps a lot during the day, and stays awake during the night. Thinking. Pondering on her life. Doing what she normally doesn’t.

Her body is tired all the time, despite being told that it’s healed completely.

Lately, when she looks into the mirror, what’s reflected back - what she sees - isn’t her.

She doesn’t recognise herself. Dark bags under her eyes, arms that have lost much of their strong muscles, expression numbed, lifeless.

It surprises her that she doesn’t much care about that.

But Asami does, it appears. Always tries to make Korra talk, and sometimes she feels like she could almost spill everything out, to this girl, to Asami, to the only one who has the patience to remain by her side and never leaves.

Isn’t that what friends do? Being able to confide everything to each other and all that?

_(somehow that stings a bit)_

_(just a bit, though.)_

But her mind, her damned mind, is quicker than her tongue, and she bites her lips, once again seal them shut.

_(burden)_

_(weighing her down)_

and once again she finds herself staring into nothingness, thinking.

The next morning finds Korra in front of the mirror, once again unable to sleep, a pair of scissors in her hand.

Korra can’t recognise herself and she doesn’t care, she doesn’t want to care - but a part of her finds that whenever Asami tries to wipe away her tears in secret, because the girl doesn’t want Korra to know, she cares.

Korra cares, and she wants to change. To make her reflection resemble her own self again, and maybe then she’ll be able to care about herself again.

Maybe then she’ll find the tiny flicker of flame inside her, and she can bend again.

First locks of hair down, followed by others.

It feels like eternity has passed when Korra realises that the reason why she can’t see anything anymore is because she’s been crying.

She feels more than see a hand reach out, holding hers, and she hears Asami’s quiet voice next to her.

"Here," the voice offers, "let me help with that."

_(Is it just her imagination, or does Asami’s voice sound wet as well?)_

It’s her first time crying since the day Jinora gets her tattoo ceremony.

When Asami’s finished with trimming and fixing what Korra’s done to her hair into presentable state, Korra barely lets out a small “thanks” before suddenly turning around and locking Asami in a tight hug, eyes closes shut.

Asami lets her cry her heart out, and she’s thankful for that.

Her recovery might be slower than she’d hoped, but she’s on her way there. And Asami’s with her on every step of the way.

She might have been deemed a firebending master long before she’s met this girl, but Asami’s the one who keeps her fire alive and walks with her through every trial life sees fit to throw at her.

One day, she’ll wake up under the sun.  
But for now, she’s content to be held in Asami’s arms and cry her self to sleep, secured in the knowledge that Asami Sato isn’t going anywhere else.

They have each other.


End file.
